


I still have you

by askywalkergryff



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Literal Sleeping Together, Minor Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:02:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29902890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/askywalkergryff/pseuds/askywalkergryff
Summary: Ahsoka came back with Kanan and Ezra from her duel against Vader on Malachor. Now knowing the true identity of the Sith Lord, she is broken by her guilt of having to leave her brother again.Luckily, some new and old friends are there to pick up the pieces.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano, Ezra Bridger & Ahsoka Tano, Kanan Jarrus & Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 7
Kudos: 47





	I still have you

**Author's Note:**

> emphasizing that this is NOT rexsoka

She was only sixteen years old when she walked down the steps of the Jedi Temple- when she walked away from Anakin.

_Sixteen_

When she felt Rex's presence on the ship when he came back with the Ghost crew, she turned on her heel and took sixteen steps before she was only a few feet away from her old Captain.

_Not her Captain. Her friend. Her "Vod"._

_"Vod'ika," he had used to call her._

_"Little sibling."_

When she slipped into her temporary quarters on _The Ghost_ after returning from Malachor, she took sixteen steps before falling to her knees in front of her bed. Her face scrunched up, her eyes squeezing shut as she reached beneath her pillow.

The necklace was still there. Shaped like a diamond, a maroon band holding it together. The Aurebesh letter "Aurek" had been carved into the back of it.

_"'A' for...?"_

_"'A' for Ahsoka... or Anakin," he had told her with his signature smirk. "Whichever you want."_

_"Why not both?"_

_"Yeah," he laughed, quietly. "Why not both."_

She shook her head from side to side, her fist clenched so tightly around the charm that her knuckles had gone white. She felt the sharp edge cut into her palm, wincing as the familiar feeling of blood tainted the diamond.

_"Listen... I would never let anyone hurt you, Ahsoka- never!_ "

"Liar," she hissed, her grip on the necklace tightening even more. She whispered the word again, before chucking the necklace at the wall with all the force her sore and battered body could muster.

She cried as she knelt beside the cracked charm, now stained with her blood. She cried into her hands, one of which now bore the imprint of the first letter of both her and his name.

_"What's it for?"_

_"It's a necklace, Snips. You wear it."_

_"I worked that much out for myself, funnily enough."_

_He shrugged with a sheepish smile, before walking a few steps around her so he could clasp it around her neck._

_"Just want you to have a piece of me with you when I'm gone."_

She left it there on the floor, and walked sixteen steps over to the 'fresher to wash the blood from her hands.

* * *

Rex was the furthest thing from Force-sensitive, but he could _feel_ that she was awake. Any rational person would have wondered what the _hell_ she was doing up at this hour, but he knew her better than anyone.

 _Almost_ anyone.

Anyone except for Anakin.

Anakin, who could read her like an open book.

Anakin, who would take her by the shoulders and steer her away from the soldiers after a grueling battle.

Anakin, who used to kneel in front of her, cupping her little face in his hands as he wiped the tears from her cheeks.

Rex was no Anakin, but he would do what he could for her. He could listen. He could just _be there_. 

And so he stopped just a few feet behind her as she stared out into the stars.

And so he stepped closer to her, wrapping his arms firmly around her stomach.

And so he rested his chin on her shoulder as she tightly lifted her arms over his.

"I've got you, Little 'un," he whispered, as she shook with silent tears. He lowered her to the floor beside him, gripping her hand as she curled up against his chest.

He traced a thumb over an oddly shaped cut on her palm.

"Aurek?" he asked. Her lip trembled, and she just shook her head.

Rex nodded, leaving the subject alone. 

"I still have you," she whispered after a few moments.

"You still have me," he breathed back.

* * *

Kanan woke earlier than usual the next morning.

He could feel the dip of his mattress beside him where Hera had fallen asleep, insisting that she would be there when he woke up after tending to his injuries.

He stumbled to the door, still getting used to his new, dark world. 

Following the familiar halls of _The Ghost_ , and his own Force bond with Ezra, he could sense that the boy was still asleep.

He made his way into the kitchen, slightly suprised to sense...

"Ahsoka?" he whispered, kneeling down to where he was somewhat-certain she was. He felt a callused hand on his forearm.

"Right here," her voice answered softly. "I'll go make some caf."

She squeezed Rex's hand before taking Kanan's and guiding him over to the counter. She pulled out two stools before brewing the drink.

Kanan kept quiet as she busied herself with picking mugs from the cabinet.

"Want anything in yours?" she asked. 

"No, thanks."

"Just like me," she laughed quietly as she poured the drinks.

Kanan wanted to say something as she placed the mug in front of him, taking a seat on his left. Even with her shields locked up tightly, he could feel the pain radiating from her through the thin bond that had begun to form between the two of them.

His memories of the temple had faded significantly, but he did remember the way that Ahsoka had been with her master.

_"The council wants to separate them," one of his classmates had whispered to him._

_"Why?"_

_"They say they've become too close. That they're attached to each other," he continued._

It had all just been youngling gossip, but Kanan knew it was partly true from observing the pair with his own eyes. They would joke around with one another as they strode down the halls, walking shoulder to shoulder as they laughed.

They _had_ been close.

"I'm... sorry," he began. "About your master."

He pulled his cup to his lips, occupying himself as he waited for her response.

She sighed deeply.

"I am too."

"It isn't your fault, what happened to him. It isn't anyone's," he continued, placing the mug back on the table.

"Maybe not," she said, shrugging. "I've thought that he was dead all this time... I'm not even sure what's worse."

Kanan didn't know how to respond to that. He tried to imagine his master, Depa Billaba, turning into what Anakin had become.

He tried to imagine having to fight her in the way that Ahsoka did.

He couldn't.

So he just reached out one hand, laying his palm upwards so she could take it.

"I remember the way you two were. He...," he sighed, "the real him would've been so proud of you."

Ahsoka squeezed his hand.

And though he couldn't see it, a small smile formed on her lips.

* * *

Ezra watched Ahsoka closely during breakfast that morning.

He had been the last to arrive at the table, seating himself across from her, and beside Zeb, who kicked him in greeting.

He kicked him back, smirking. Hera (with a dramatic roll of her eyes, of course) ordered Sabine to sit between them before things could get out of hand.

Ahsoka smiled fondly at the three of them, a far away look on her face, as if she were remembering something.

_Her shin ached as Anakin landed another blow to it with the toe of his boot._

_She glared back at him, thrusting the heel of her boot into his ankle. He didn't even flinch before kicking her back._

_"if you two don't knock that off, I'm putting you on janitorial duty for the next two weeks," Obi-Wan scolded._

_"Yes, Master. Sorry, Master," Anakin answered, still not taking his eyes off of Ahsoka as he kicked her again, raising his eyebrows challengingly._

Ezra caught her glance, arched an eyebrow at her.

She imitated his expression with a smirk, and his blue milk nearly shot out of his nose as he laughed.

"Something you wanna say, Ezra?" she asked as he got himself back under control.

"Can we... er... talk?" he questioned tentatively. She nodded with a small smile.

As breakfast ended, she followed him into a spare room- the same one they had been when she first told him about Anakin.

"Darth Vader is your old master, isn't he?" he began quietly. Ahsoka blinked a few times before nodding solemnly.

"Yes. He is."

Ezra's eyes found the floor. He slowly stood up, making his way over to her side.

"Ahsoka?"

"Yes, Ezra?" She smiled softly at him.

"Would it be alright if I hugged you?"

"Sure," she said. She could hardly get the word out before he was wrapping his arms tightly around her middle.

She stumbled back slightly before returning the embrace with equal strength.

"He's..." he struggled to think of the right words to say, "he's not the same person."

Ahsoka nodded.

"He's not," she agreed.

"I don't know what I would do if Kanan turned," he continued. Ahsoka laughed quietly. He was trying so hard to comfort her.

"How old are you, Ezra?" she asked, taking him by surprise.

"Sixteen... why do you ask?" 

She stiffened slightly at that.

_Sixteen_

"Just... promise me this," she began, pulling back so she could look at him, "stay with Kanan for as long as you can. Don't... don't leave him."

"O...kay?" he answered, raising an eyebrow.

She smiled fully.

"Thank you, Ezra."


End file.
